Ah, the salty sea air, the boundless ocean, and the inescapable echo of a sugar-fueled toddler shrieking “I want Elsa NOW!” while your family of four are huddled in a 200 square foot cabin. For those yearning for a unique week of inescapable familial closeness, Disney Cruise Line unveiled its latest maritime marvel, the Disney Treasure. Slated for a 2024 launch, this nautical wonder promises to deliver the ultimate adventure for parents already well-versed in the art of patience and noise-cancelling headphones.
“The theme of adventure is embedded in every nook and cranny, from our character breakfasts to our pirate-themed deck parties.” said Josh D’Amaro, Chairman of Disney Parks, Experiences and Products. “And naturally, there’s an abundance of bars and merchandise shops, because what’s a magical vacation for parents without a healthy dose of retail and liquid therapy?”
The staterooms are the ultimate crucible of family togetherness. Each room is equipped with Disney’s state-of-the-art entertainment systems to ensure that you can’t escape ‘Frozen’ even if you’re floating in international waters. “Imagine, listening to ‘Let it Go’ while actually having nowhere to go,” D’Amaro mused.
The ship is not without its kid-friendly features, of course. With the Oceaneer Club and Teen Lounges, the Disney Treasure ensures that your children have plenty of activities to keep them busy for at least 15 minutes before they decide they’re bored. “We’re especially proud of our interactive ‘Marvel Super Hero Academy,’ where kids can dress up like their favorite heroes,” D’Amaro said. “Parents can join in too—if they’ve ever fantasized about being financially defeated by a super-villain.”
For parents in need of “me time,” the ship also boasts a Senses Spa & Salon. “Our spa experience is second to none,” promised D’Amaro. “After an hour of solitude, you’ll almost forget the sound of your children fighting over Mickey-shaped chicken nuggets—until you check your phone and see 23 missed calls from the kids’ club.”
But that’s not all. The ship will make stops at the enchanting Lighthouse Point, where parents can partake in such relaxing activities as frantically applying sunscreen on squirming children and making futile attempts to read a book while intermittently shouting, “Don’t go too far into the water!”
And because no adventure is complete without a memento, the ship’s expansive gift shops—strategically located at every exit—ensure that parents have ample opportunity to buy $35 Elsa crowns and $50 pirate swords that will be forgotten by the time they disembark.
So pack your bags and prepare for a journey that defies description—because sometimes, words like ‘unforgettable,’ ‘unique,’ and ‘why did we do this’ simply cannot capture the magic of a week-long confinement at sea with the family. Whether it’s the endless activities, the top-shelf margaritas at the ship’s bar, or the symphonic wails of your sugar-fueled children, the Disney Treasure guarantees you’ll leave with something you didn’t have before—like a profound appreciation for land.