In a stunning revelation that has rocked breakfast tables across the country, a local mom’s group has unearthed what they’re calling “The Waffle Conspiracy,” a scandal so deep that it could only come from the darkest depths of the happiest place on earth. The group claims that Disney’s latest kitchen appliance, a seemingly innocent Mickey Mouse waffle iron, is actually a vessel for the company’s true intentions, all spelled out in sinister crispy golden-brown: “WICKED.”
The discovery was made last Sunday when Judith, the mom’s group’s leader, noticed the word “WICKED” imprinted on her child’s breakfast. “It was just sitting there, on the dining table, staring at me,” Judith recounted, her voice filled with anger. “We’ve tolerated the subliminal messages in their films, the urban legends about the parks, but encoding messages in our waffles? Where does it end, Disney?”
Disney, when reached for comment, offered a characteristically whimsical deflection, assuring that the only thing their waffle iron imprints is “joy and high-quality carbohydrates.” However, the moms remain undeterred in their crusade against the Mickey Waffle Conspiracy, with several moms vowing to only serve their children Mickey shaped pancakes as they are the morally superior breakfast alternative.
