As the Disneyland Resort announced the addition of alcoholic drinks at three of its iconic eateries: Carnation Cafe, River Belle Terrace, and Cafe Orleans, theme park executives made an equally surprising revelation. During a meeting to discuss new ways to increase revenue, a custodial cast member happened to walk by and accidentally nudged a long forgotten file cabinet. Inside? None other than Walt Disney’s ‘original’ birth certificate, showing his birth name as “Malt Whiskey.”
“Celebrating Walt’s original name by offering guests even more magical alcohol choices is a spirited way to honor Walt’s legacy,” said a Disneyland spokesperson.
While historical experts raise a skeptical brow and closely scrutinize the authenticity of this convenient document, Disney has shared additional files from its archives to support the story. Handwritten notes by Tommie Wilck, Walt’s personal secretary, suggest that Walt originally considered naming the park’s mascot “Mickey Mule” after his favorite cocktail.”
Disneyland execs insist that the notes can be trusted, as it was also Wilck who prepared Walt’s daily end-of-the-workday Scotch Mist drink at 5 p.m. in anticipation of his massage and lower-back treatment from Studio nurse Hazel George. “The Scotch Mist was mostly ice,” Wilck remembered. “I would put ice and water in it and then float the scotch on top. A short while later, Walt would ask for another drink, this time with less ice and water.”
As news spread of the enhanced restaurant menus, theme park guests shared their excitement for the new drinks. Anaheim resident Melissa Hughes, sipping what might have been her third or fourth Magic Elixir, chimed in, “If selling more alcohol under the guise of honoring Walt’s original name makes my Disneyland trip merrier, then cheers!”
Jake Bennett, father of three and emerging Disney sommelier, slurred, “After five rounds on the Teacups and a bottle of Pinot, I’ve finally realized it’s called ‘Fantasyland’ for a reason.”